Thursday, January 26, 2012

My soon to be sister in law is copying my wedding!?

Okay, I thought I was the only one noticing this, but now people are coming up to me and saying that she is indeed copying me. I was married last year, and her wedding is coming up this spring. At first she had her own ideas (colors, schemes, etc). But a month ago she changed everything to be just like my wedding. At first I thought well I should be flattered right, it means mine was awesome (she was one of my bridesmaids). But now I feel like she is just being competitive (she has that personality). She started just switching to use the same church and reception local, fine they were nice places. Then she used the same bakery for the cake, fine it was yummy (she picked the same flavor) But now she also changed her original ideas to be the same colors i had and the exact same flowers (to a t), so now are weddings are exactly alike, plus half of the guests (and bridal party)will be the same. I know my marriage is what is important. But I can't help but feel frustrated. Any advice?

My soon to be sister in law is copying my wedding!?
Feel flattered, smile and let it go. There are some things worth a fight and some that are not.

Use the old Cheerful and stupid attitude to get through it and move on.

PS -

Don't be surprised if she copies your decorating ideas, party ideas, etc. for the rest of your life. She obviously admires you and feel a need to be like you.

Don't get into a tizzy over it. She will most lkely be a sister in law for a long time, so keep the peace and ignore it.
Reply:At the wedding in a nonchalant tone tell her "oooh, this reminds me of the my own wedding I planned, how wonderful." That way you put it forward that you see the amazing similarities and kind of stick it to her that you did it first. 10 brownie points if you do it in front of people gathered around her complimenting her on her dress or something.



Just be sure that you act incredibly happy for her so on one suspects of of being a 13itch. lol
Reply:Ignore it. as you found out, other people are realizing you are being copied by her.



Act flattered though you may want to strangle her.
Reply:she couldn't make her own choice or decision, so, the simplest way is to copy what she have experience with your wedding.. no head-ache for her.. means, you have a good taste and she following you exactly.. i know it could be irritating but just get over it.. or have some discussion with her about people to remember on her wedding.. don't she wants to have her own indentity for remembrance... if nothing can do, just get over it.. you might be her idol..
Reply:*****.



Comment now and then in a happy voice that "these flowers are just like at my wedding" or " I love the colors, thats why I had them at my wedding" hopefully she will get the point, if not maybe add on the end "Our weddings are so similar, I hope people don't get mixed up with who is getting married this time".

Or just tell her it has been done and to get some original ideas. She is comeing off unimaginative.

People have already been to your wedding so they should experience something different.
Reply:Well I would just deal with it and make her look like a fool. She is the one that doesnt have any good ideas of her own. Plus if it were me and my sister in law I would just kick her but (we dont get along)
Reply:was your wedding nice? did you ever do something the same way someone else did because you saw it would be easy er than finding out on your own how to do it. have you heard the saying, if it"s not broke don"t fix it? could you poss ably take it as a compliment?
Reply:So. You should be flattered she liked what you did so much she wants to do it herself. You can't put a copyright or a trademark stamp on a wedding. So get over it, and be happy she likes your taste.
Reply:I think that's hilarious. You could look at it as flattering. I would probably look at like she'll look like a weirdo (ala the movie single white female) so don't worry about it.
Reply:Quit being childish. You had your wedding first and this IS the best form of flattery. How is this hurting you? If you would let something as small as this get in the way of your husband's family then you won't be married long. Wish her well, offer to help and quit being immature.



P.S. I hope this is the biggest problem you will ever have. Be careful.. sometimes it takes catastrophes for us to see how petty and small our problems are. You need a visit to a homeless shelter or a walk through a cancer ward to wake you up to reality.
Reply:could be she so insecure about her own judgment of things that she is copying yours so she knows it will be a success? If that's the case,,, offer to help her make decisions.. Otherwise,. maybe point out to her that people WILL talk about the fact that the two weddings were carbon copies of each other, and that it certainly doesn't show her individuality ans a couple to just steal all your ideas. Its like cheating off of someones paper at school. she doesn't want to do the work or the thoughtful decision making.. so she just copy's yours. Its easier for her. I would certainly hope she didn't think she can do your wedding only out do you on that level,. that would just be immature and tacky. Bottom line,, SOMEONE needs to at least bring it up to her so she can either correct it or give her reasons as to why she is plagiarizing your wedding day. A day that should be the most important and meaning day in a couples lives.
Reply:You are being very petty. She must have admired your taste and thought quite highly of your choices. If she wants that type of wedding why should you feel badly about that. Remember this is her big day. Lots of people choose the same colours and same church etc. Be happy for her on this day, and quit trying to make this all about you. You had your day.
Reply:You already had your wedding, so why do you care?
Reply:I would sit her down and talk to her.... Ask her what her plans are.... It won't be remembered as the day "Tom and Jan got married" People will just laugh at how silly your family is.... Definitely Tell your sister to stop copying you and come up with her own ideas...... Good luck
Reply:well... just as long as she doesn't want the same groom!



Copying is supposed to be the greatest form of flattery. You've must of had a great! Wedding, you should be flattered.
Reply:let her do it because everyone will notice and then they will think she is crazy for copying your wedding exactly!!!! where i used to work there was a girl i knew from high school that started there months after i did and she was known to be a little weird anyway, but she ended up going after the guy i liked, got the same exact hair cut as i had, and started to act like me...every one started seeing how crazy she was!
Reply:Tell her that everything is so similar to your wedding that the family won't remember it as its own special day. Tell her she should do something so her wedding can be different (dress color or something) that way people will remember it as her wedding and not confuse it with yours.

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