Honorary Bridesmaid?

Is this just for people who cannot attend a wedding? My fiance has 2 sisters. One of them leaves near us, and she is my Matron of Honor. The other sister lives a ways away, but her oldest of 3 is our flower girl. I'm trying not to ask too much of those traveling (esp with kids); however, she is flying in a week early to host the bridal shower with her other sister. It's a late bridal shower, because my mom also won't be in town until then. Should I ask her to be an honorary bridesmaid? And if so, is this listed in the program. I'm thinking it's not, but I don't really know. I know it's too much to ask for her to be in the wedding b/c he has 3 youngins under 4.

Honorary Bridesmaid?
I wouldn't. Honorary bridesmaids is sorta one of those odd terms. It used to mean people who just couldn't be there but has now been stretched out to incorporate every friend whose wedding the bride had been in. I was at one wedding last summer that had 13 honorary bridesmaids.



As she is one of your soon to be sisters, I would talk it over with your MIL. If you explain that you wanted her to be honored and not feel like you favor the other sister over her--but recognize that she is traveling and has kids and that the kids are going to be in the wedding....



Is this the kind of girl who will be offended at being overlooked? Or will she be busy with her own kids and the travel plans that it would not be an honor for her but just added stress? I know I'd ask my MIL. I'm sure she will be able to help.



But yes, if you give her the title of honorary bridesmaid, she should be in the program.
Reply:It may not be too much to ask for her to be in the wedding if you can make arrangements for her children to be cared for during the ceremony. Maybe her husband can watch them, or maybe you can get some other close friends not in the wedding party to keep an eye on them. Not only will you be able to include your future SIL, you will spare her the slight of not being in the wedding party when her sister is, and you will give her a break from Mommy duty during your (and her brother's) special day- which is the biggest blessing of all- for everyone.



And I've never heard of an honorary bridesmaid. That just seems odd. It almost says 'you just barely missed making the cut.'
Reply:If she's helping out with the wedding, and you wish to honor her, then making your soon-to-be sister in law Honorary Bridesmaid would be very nice. Yes, she would be listed in the program in the attendants section wityh the special heading "Honorary Bridesmaid."