Bridesmaid upset because husband isn't in wedding party?

Has anyone heard of a bridesmaid or groomsman's spouse being asked to be in the bridal party just because they are married?

My two future sister in laws are 2 of my 5 bridesmaids. (I want a semi-small wedding party, also have a jr bridesmaid and flower girl and same amount of guys). My future sis in laws are upset because their husbands were asked to be Ushers instead of Groomsman. They think that because they are married, their husband should be walking them down the aisle. My fiance is having his bro as his best man, then my bro and his 3 best friends as his groomsman. It's important to us that the bro-in-laws be part of our day, and that is why we asked them to be Ushers, but I guess they are all upset about this. one sister even said she wasn't going to be in our wedding or attend at all if her husband isn't in the bridal party. I feel like this is extremetly rude, as it is me and my fiance's choice who we have in our bridal party. What are others thoughts?

Bridesmaid upset because husband isn't in wedding party?
It is your wedding. Your bridal party should consist of the women of your choosing, the groomsmen guys of your dh's choosing. You choose who you want, people close to you, not the spouses of your bridal party.



If she won't let it go, stick to your wishes, and let her do what she wants. If she is going to be so petty, you don't need her ruining your special day.



I would not cave in -- it's your wedding, and she is way of line in expecting your to make your choices based on what she wants.
Reply:No, spouses are not automatically in the bridal party. These women obviously hasnt been in many weddings, or probably even gone to many weddings. Thats a presumptuous assertion on their part.

Smile sweetly and tell them if they dont want to come to the wedding, that is their choice. Honestly I think they are full of empty threats. Just tell them calmly to decide whether they are going to be bridesmaids or not, so you can get on with the wedding planning.
Reply:They are being out of line. Thats ridiculous.



Honestly, they are lucky even THEY are in your wedding.. they arent your friends.. they are your sisters in laws....



Its absolutely ridiculous for them to think your going to take it one step further and have your fiances sisters husbands in the wedding- no one who was rational would demand this.



Dont let them do this to you or your gonna set yourself up to be bullied by them for the rest of your life
Reply:This is YOUR day. If your sis-in-laws don't want to come to YOUR wedding, tell them to stay home. DO NOT let someone else ruin your day with their childish, not to mention selfish behavior. It is extremely rude of them to do this to you. You could just uninvite them entirely and ask someone else to be in your bridal party. Some people just have to be asshats and ruin the happiness. DO NOT let them do this!!

(humm, whoda thunk asshats isn't a word) :)
Reply:I think if you asked the husband, you'd find he's relieved. He's free to party without responsibility or the need to rent and wear a tux. At least I would be.



Chicks get so bizarre about wedding rituals!!!
Reply:Tell them that they don't have to be in it if they really feel that way
Reply:Who you have as your attendants are your business. The groom should pick those he wants to stand with him. Most brides and grooms choose who they want regardless of whether it is family or not. Lots of bridesmaids are married and their husbands are not groomsmen and vice versa. Your SILs are being selfish, immature and stupid. If they are upset and don't want to be in the wedding then tell them they need to make a choice and let you know immediately so you can replace them. Do not let them bully you into doing what they want. It's not their wedding and not their choice.
Reply:Yes, I have heard of bridesmaids being upset about this, as well as wives of groomsmen....hmmm only the married ladies have this problem.



First, when a person is asked to be in a wedding party only that person is asked, it does not extend to husbands as groomsme or daughters as flower girls etc... asking them is asking THEM.

Second, no one can bully you into having people you don't want in your wedding party. You are not obligated to have your cousin that you barely see over your best friend of 20 years, just because they are blood. You choose whom you want.

Third, some may find me a little old-fashioned but, I believe you should choose your attendants, not your fiance. A little modern thinking though, I believe attendants can be a different sex than the person they are standing with. If the groom wants to have your brother, or you want to have his sis thats perfectly fine, but your maids are your maids, and his men are his men. With this belief you shouldn't need to bother with this question. This should be entirely the grooms call. I don't think he should or even would bump his friends for the inlaws.



Lastly, I am a little confused, you say these are your future sister-in-laws and thier husbands. I'm slightly confused as to the relationship are they the soon to be wives of your brothers or the or the sisters of your soon to be husband. I am assuming the second, so the men inquestion are your fiancees so to be brother inlaws and, I am sorry to be blunt absolutely nothing to you, there isnt even a word to describe your relationship to your husbands brother in-law, or your sister in-laws husband. If they pitch fits, don't use them refer to second point...
Reply:Our plan was for my future Sister-in-laws to be two of my bridesmaids and the one's husband wasn't going to be in the wedding party.

If you %26amp; your fiance are in agreement, stick to your guns. Everyone will get over it. And if someone doesn't attend - it is their loss, not yours. You wouldn't want a sour puss to ruin your day anyway.
Reply:Ack, I cannot believe these women!!



I have a younger brother, and if he ever gets married I would not be whining and trying to pressure him into having my husband as one of his groomsmen! That's ridiculous!!



Sisters can be bossy (especially older sisters!! I know I'm guilty of it once in a while!) but they have no right to boss a brother around in regards to these decisions!!
Reply:If you let them dictate to you on this one thing, on your wedding day, it will never stop.



If they don't want to take part, it is their loss, and frankly you'd be better off without such petulant children at your wedding.
Reply:I think you and your soon to be husband should stand your ground. I think what your doing is totally cool, and your family are being arses!
Reply:Bottom line...it's your day and your wedding. Congrats!
Reply:no it not important...if she still upset tell her she doest have to be part of the wedding she can be a guest life everyone else...so she can be with her husband...
Reply:That's ridiculous. They don't have to be escorted down the aisle by their husband. I have been in weddings that my husband has not been in and he has been in some that I haven't been in. This is stupid. They need to chill.



Have your fiance talk to them and try to smooth things over without giving in. Maybe just tell them that he didn't realize that it would be an issue. Whatever you do make sure that he take the heat for this and not you. They won't stay mad at their brother but they might stay upset with you.