Help Best Man and Matron of Honor decided not to be in the wedding?

Well the best man and matron of honor decided not to be in the wedding don't know m wedding is in 2 weeks and yesterday I asked m maid of honor to go to the bridal to pay for her husband tuxedo and her dress and she said ok and so happen at church last night they didn't come to choir rehearsal for an unusual reason but my fiancee said he knew they weren't coming because of the issue paying for anything they should have told us in the beginning they didn't have the funds so now we can't get in contact with them and so now i have to find another flower girl because their lil girl was the flower girl but you know what I have been planning this wedding all by myself stressing myself no help but i do have a wedding coordinator she have done all her work but you find out our true friends when special occasions come up. Any advice. Keep us in you all prayers to God be the Glory.

Help Best Man and Matron of Honor decided not to be in the wedding?
Oh love i'm so sorry!I had the same thing happen to me. I know how it feels I was just married in Sept. I made myself sick because I was so stressed out. It's a way to loose a few lbs. huh?



I'm sorry to hear about your delema. Do you have any sisters or family members that would like to take their place? If not the show must go on w/ or w/ out them. I was short a brides maid because she flaked on me. I know you want it to be perfect but there are tons of family memebers I'm sure that would verry much appreciate the fact you thought of them to take their place.



Maybe pick someone who has supported you all the way up to now... like an auntie a cousin or sister. Same goes for your groom.



Best of luck. It will all work out trust me! =)
Reply:First of all please use punctuation, it is hard to understand what most of your question is saying.



That out of the way; You have every right to be upset, if the finacial part was that much of a burdon they should have spoken up a LONG time ago. I am not saying by any means that people who can't afford it should just outright say no to participating in a wedding, but that is something that needs to be discussed earlier not 2 weeks before said date. Having several people from one family in the same wedding can be expensive, but there would have been plenty of time to communicate financial concerns ahead of time and come to a plausible solution. Also not contacting you is a horrible and not a very friend like way to handle the situation. As adults and as a friend they should have sat you down and let you know as soon as it became evident they would not be able to participate. Don't let it ruin your day, although it is nice to have those head positions it is not entirely necissary, and I do understand how hurt you must feel by not having your Bests by your side, remember the day is about you and your intended joining together as one, not about anyone else. Congrats and Good Luck
Reply:you see this is whats wrong with today's weddings.

causes more tension then happiness which is direct opposite of weddings are about.

chances are they wanted to come and thought they could afford garments for 3.

Ofc now they can't and they have to back out and not look back.

personally this why for generations my family have had small weddings and we are proud of it.We cover everything and keep the cost low by having it small.

I highly doubt this can be a situation where you judge your friends or family

sadly i been dragged into a scenario that my fiancee wants one this large thingie monsters and now telling everyone what to pay for etc.

Seems rather artifical and sterile to me.I already told her i am not asking my friends to pay for anything.Been there is enough support and sign of friendship,now i must make them pay so we can look like prince charles and Di for a few hours and then what?No royal palace after that,thats for sure.

For your information you find out who your true friends are in time of crisis not in time of special occasions.
Reply:my twin boyz were asked to be page boyz for my cousin in spain so as there is me my partner and my 5 boyz all traveling for a long weekend from england to spain my cousin paid for approx half of the overal costs. we struggled to paye for everything but we are a family and it was important that we all played our part in the wedding day.

just talk to them and compromise they probably feel bad the same as you do.
Reply:If the only reason they're not being in the BP is money, and you love these people enough for them to be your best man and maid of honor.... If there is any way that you can just pay for the clothes and tell them that their friendship and their presence is more important than cash to you... well that's what I'd try to do.



But that's just me. I could be wrong.
Reply:If they can't afford it you should do what you can to assist in the cost. You have a family of THREE in your wedding? That's rough financially. They're not being a bad friend by backing out because they can't afford it..................
Reply:The wedding will go on whether you have 1 bridesmaid or 10. You can choose to ask a bridesmaid, or you can choose not to have a maid of honor and best man! I hope you didn't have the programs printed already, if so you can choose not to use programs.



Don't stress about this. You are right your maid of honor and best man should have been up front about this. It is really rude and inconsiderate of them to accept this obligation and then disappear when payment is due. I'm sorry you have been put in this postion but focus on the important thing... you are getting married!! That is all that matters and I am sure it will be a lovely ceremony.



Good luck!
Reply:yes i agree
Reply:just promote a random usher and brides maid
Reply:I have a family of three in the same positions but all they will have to pay for is his tuxedo.

If they aren't made of money- try to offer at least some help. I'm sure they don't want to put you out so close to the date. If that doesn't work? promote or go without the "honor positions" and just have bridemaids and groomsmen.



also, flower girls are adorable- but not neccesary for the ceremony.
Reply:i think they shouldve told you they cant afford it cause not howing up to the rehearsal is very rude especially when the wedding is 2 weeks away i would either tell them that you and you husband to be would pay half and they pay the rest ,if not they can be guests and just promote one of the bridesmaids and an usher to that position.
Reply:You should not have expected them to pay for all of their outfits.A family buying 3 outfits for a wedding is a considerable amount of money.After all it is not their wedding.they are obviously financially embarrased.
Reply:If your friends don't have the funds to but the garments then you should pay for them.
Reply:pay for them if you have the funds. i have been in 3 weddings and each time the bridal party paid for my tuxedo
Reply:Did they say anything about cost before? When accepting the positions? When they said they'd do it, they agreed to pay. If they changed their minds, they should have talked to you. It seems cowardly what they've done. And you're pregnant, you don't need this stress. Does she have an Easter dress she can wear? Maybe they could pay you back for the dress and tux.
Reply:Breathe, catch your breath all is not lost. The two most important people will still be there, you and your groom.

Couple of suggestions: Offer to help your MOH to pay for her dress (you might have to anyways if the bridal shop turns ugly), suggest your BM wear a suit, and pass on the flower girl, especially if you want them. They may have had a serious financial setback. Or promote another couple from your attendant list. If not, have each of you have a parent to step in, they would be honoroed. Or, if you offer to help pay for the dress, you might be able to find a close acquaintance more than willing to step up. Cut your losses and stress.

Contact the bridal shop, the tux should be able to be canceled if you notify them now. The dress could be yours or sell it. As a professional, your wedding coordinator should be able to make some arrangement with the bridal shop to help you. You are better to ask someone who would be honored to be your attendant, than try to fill in the empty space. You might have had your heart set on a perfect wedding, and it will be. You will look radiant, your groom will be dazzled, your family will be with you, and your friends will be happy for you. And at day's end, you will be married and facing many years of happiness. You are in my prayers and in His hands. God Bless!

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